World, I Want to Leave You Better

“World, I want to leave you better I want my life to matter

Have I the courage to change? Have I the courage to change today?” - Sia, Courage to Change

2021, 6 months in, 6 months to go.

I don’t know about you. But sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by the sadness & uncertainty in the world. Injustices. Unfairness. Pain. Sorrow. Inherited chaos. Collective trauma. And sometimes I find myself anxious. What’s next? Another war? Another soul taken? Another virus variant? Another heart wrenching news?

It is those moments that I shut down and do nothing. It is those moments that I feel insignificant. It is those moments that I lose track of the big picture, and how my part is needed. It is those moments that I hate myself for everything that I’m not doing. It is those moments that I carry the most guilt for the privileges that come with living in Canada. I say this fully knowing of my radiant brown skin, tiny but mighty body, and that I am a woman.

It is those moments that I lose hope.

I pause for a breath… I’m haunted by the idea that if we lose all hope, we give up before we even try.

So, I wonder, is hope really the moral choice here? Can hope save me? Can hope save us? Then I wonder, with hope, how do we get there from here? It feels like a daunting long journey. Unknown. Uncertain.

I stop myself. I take a breath. I bring myself back to hope. Remind myself that there’s always uncertainty. It’s just a matter of which uncertain path am I willing to take? Come with me, would you? Pack some courage, joy, and love with you on this journey. Tell me, which uncertain path are you willing to take?

Other days, I find myself calm, hopeful, and filled with joy & trust.